Meant To Be

Hank's Mom

2009-06-10T20:21:00.000-07:00

Since Hank came home as an infant with his personality just beginning to emerge, it’s probably unfair to say that we didn’t have anything to do with shaping his personality traits. But, despite the fact that Al and I had nothing to do with determining Hank’s physical appearance, Hank looks so much like Al that people stop us all the time to make mention of it.

How does that happen? How does a child from a place so far from Tulsa, Oklahoma, look so much like his adoptive father?

As Hank’s personality blossoms, we also see many similarities with others in our family. He is funny, like his sisters. He loves to be outside, like his dad. He is compassionate, like his mom. He is determined and strong-willed, like all four of us. Hank was meant to be part of our family. We do not doubt that one bit.

Christine and Al Shasteen are the parents of the fabulous Hank, spunky Elsah, and sweet Lainey. The newest addition to the family, baby Benjamin, is waiting patiently for travel clearance in Korea.

Rachel and Zachary's Mom

2009-06-01T05:10:00.000-07:00

That evening I feverishly searched my baby name books. I had to have a name chosen before his picture arrived via FedEx the next day. But now my search was complicated by the fact that I knew his Vietnamese name – and its translation, “Very important one.” A meaning like that puts a lot of pressure on whatever name goes with it! I was nearly through the whole baby name book when I arrived at the Z’s. And there it was: Zachary, “God remembered” - the perfect name for the little boy who was left in an orphanage at 3 months old with no hope of being adopted, only to find his family over two years later. God had never forgotten him. In God’s eyes, he was “Very important”.

The next day, Zachary’s file arrived. I eagerly opened the envelope and was surprised to find a very large stack of papers and photographs chronicling the last two and a half years of his life. What a gift our agency gave to us, such incredible documentation of his development, growth and progress. And pictures! There were photos of Zachary taken every three months, with the most recent pictures on top. I looked at this boy, this little kid, and wondered what it would be like to be his mother. I carefully read each quarterly report, studiously learning about our son.

At the bottom of the pile was his very first report, with a photo stapled to the back. And there he was: my baby. Oh, my heart ached just looking at him, so tiny and sweet. And I thought, “I want that baby.” And right at that moment I knew that my baby had been there in Vietnam, waiting for us all along, and we didn’t even know it.

Christina Chronister has been a leader in the push for ethical adoptions. She is one of the founders of VVAI (Voices for Vietnam Adoption Integrity), continuing to bring important adoption issues to the forefront while raising her own busy family.

Adam's Mom

2009-05-18T19:25:00.000-07:00

Always an eager student, I joined several online adoption groups and read as much as I could about the process. I began to vacillate almost immediately as I learned what is a harsh adoption reality – there is a huge disparity in the number of potential adoptive parents requesting girls and those requesting boys. The idea that healthy beautiful boys were languishing in orphanages began to nag at me. I thought of my brothers. I thought of my nephews. I thought of all the boys I’ve every loved and just how much they needed the same things I hadn’t gotten.

The projected waiting time of 3-6 months for a referral of a baby girl steadily grew as more and more families applied to the newly re-opened Vietnam adoption program. The waiting time for boy referrals remained 1-3 months, and my disquiet increased exponentially.

When the waiting time for girls hit the 12-18 month mark, my indecision became all-consuming. I shared my conflicted feelings with the members of my online groups and asked for input, opinions and advice. I received many emails with thoughtful opinions, personal accounts and wholehearted support. There was one special email that got into my head and heart and shifted my perspective completely and definitively – the writer stated that what I needed to decide what whether I believed in my heart I was meant to parent a girl, or if I believed in my heart that I was meant to be a parent. It was suddenly just that simple. Three days after changing my request to infant boy, I had my referral.

Kathleen Fountain is the mother of the fabulous Adam.

Maggie's Dad

2009-05-07T07:28:00.000-07:00

An Excerpt from Meant To Be
by David, adoptee and adoptive father

My little girl is adopted.

She will always know it. She is from China; we are not. She will always look different than we do. But, apart from that undeniable fact, she’ll always know she is adopted for some of the same reasons that I always did. She will know how we got the phone call from the adoption agency while we sitting on the beach during summer vacation. She’ll know how we waited for FedEx to deliver the package with her pictures the next day. We’ll tell her how we scrambled to send emails to everyone about the news. She’ll always hear about the ordeal of packing for China to go get her, and how we drove through a huge thunderstorm the morning we flew to Beijing.

I hope she will feel the same way I do. I hope she will smile when she thinks about her parents crazily packing their giant suitcases, the same way I smile when I think about my parents frantically shopping at Sears. I hope she will die of embarrassment when we recount how we bathed her in the sink at the hotel and she wailed miserably, just as I turn red when my mom tells the story of me being scared like a “little bird” during the first bath she gave me. I hope all those stories we tell her will be as treasured by her as I treasure the ones my parents told me.

David is an art history teacher, a running coach, and a frequent marathoner. He and his wife Allison, who is also a contributor to Meant to Be, brought their daughter Maggie home from China in September 2006.

An Excerpt From The Introduction

2009-04-22T10:57:00.001-07:00

Every family has a story. Whether the family was formed through birth, adoption, foster parenting, surrogacy, or some other means (or a combination thereof), there is a narrative that binds its members together – a history that helps shape the identity of every person on this earth.

International adoption creates a unique type of family narrative, one that involves broader issues of politics, governments, and laws (not to mention lots and lots of paperwork). However, at its core, international adoption is about parents and children, and each story of how a particular child came to join a particular family – in a country far away from the child’s native land – seems to illustrate that the world is both infinitely vast and infinitesimally small.

This book is a tiny sample of the many stories of international adoption that exist in the world today. Each one is remarkably different, yet there are unifying themes to be found: eerie elements of synchronicity and timing; apparent setbacks turning out to be necessary step-stones; meaningful symbols and dreams helping to lead families to their children. Some stories involve triumph over heartbreak, some involve years of waiting and uncertainty, and at least one does not have a happy ending… yet.

Ultimately, the stories in this volume remind us of the universality of the experience of becoming a family, whatever the means, and the importance of passing our family histories down through the generations.

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2009-04-20T13:52:00.000-07:00

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PRE ORDERS AVAILABLE NOW!!

2009-04-20T07:30:00.000-07:00

PRE ORDER for only $15
(plus $3 S&H per book)

Books are currently headed to press with an expected shipping date of 6/15.
We will update this page should the shipping date be delayed.

CLICK HERE TO ORDER ONLINE

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Send Check for $18 per book, made out to:

OrphanCare International
Attn: Tonnie Dosser
3227 East 31st St., Suite 200
Tulsa, OK 74105

About Us

2009-04-01T06:27:00.000-07:00

Every family has a story. Meant to Be explores the lives of 18 authors as they share the story of how their internationally-adopted children fit perfectly into their families. All proceeds from the sale of Meant to Be benefit OrphanCare International.

Dianna, co-editor of and contributor to Meant to Be, is the mother of three girls, two by birth and one from Vietnam. She lives in Kansas with her gaggle of girls and her husband, Chris, as well as their many four-legged family members. She is an editor and freelance writer, and in her "spare time" she enjoys volunteering, quilting, blogging, social networking and trying to beat her Facebook friends' scores on Bejeweled Blitz.

Meredith, co-editor of and contributor to Meant to Be, is an attorney living in New York City with her husband Joe and their dog and cat. Although her attempt at adopting from Vietnam was unsuccessful, she hopes to expand her family through international adoption in the future. She is addicted to distance running, traveling, reading, writing and searching for the world's best cheeseburger.

Jessica, graphic and Web designer for and contributor to Meant to Be, is a freelance designer, writer and work at home mom to a little dude/ninja-in-training from Vietnam. She and her husband Ken live in Arkansas where she dreams of having enough free time to acquire a hobby.

OrphanCare International is the humanitarian aid division of Dillon International, Inc., a licensed intercountry child placement agency, which has specialized in international adoptions and child relief programs since 1972. OrphanCare serves thousands of at-risk children and families each year, providing food, medical care, and educational opportunities to children in orphanages, on the street and in foster care. OrphanCare also provides support to impoverished families to help them stay together in times of crisis. Children and families in Vietnam, India, China, Korea, Haiti, Ethiopia, Russia, Kenya and Guatemala receive benefits and resources through OrphanCare's many outreach programs.

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2008-01-01T18:47:00.000-08:00

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2008-01-01T07:27:00.000-08:00