Hank's Mom

Since Hank came home as an infant with his personality just beginning to emerge, it’s probably unfair to say that we didn’t have anything to do with shaping his personality traits. But, despite the fact that Al and I had nothing to do with determining Hank’s physical appearance, Hank looks so much like Al that people stop us all the time to make mention of it.

How does that happen? How does a child from a place so far from Tulsa, Oklahoma, look so much like his adoptive father?

As Hank’s personality blossoms, we also see many similarities with others in our family. He is funny, like his sisters. He loves to be outside, like his dad. He is compassionate, like his mom. He is determined and strong-willed, like all four of us. Hank was meant to be part of our family. We do not doubt that one bit.

Christine and Al Shasteen are the parents of the fabulous Hank, spunky Elsah, and sweet Lainey. The newest addition to the family, baby Benjamin, is waiting patiently for travel clearance in Korea.

Rachel and Zachary's Mom

That evening I feverishly searched my baby name books. I had to have a name chosen before his picture arrived via FedEx the next day. But now my search was complicated by the fact that I knew his Vietnamese name – and its translation, “Very important one.” A meaning like that puts a lot of pressure on whatever name goes with it! I was nearly through the whole baby name book when I arrived at the Z’s. And there it was: Zachary, “God remembered” - the perfect name for the little boy who was left in an orphanage at 3 months old with no hope of being adopted, only to find his family over two years later. God had never forgotten him. In God’s eyes, he was “Very important”.

The next day, Zachary’s file arrived. I eagerly opened the envelope and was surprised to find a very large stack of papers and photographs chronicling the last two and a half years of his life. What a gift our agency gave to us, such incredible documentation of his development, growth and progress. And pictures! There were photos of Zachary taken every three months, with the most recent pictures on top. I looked at this boy, this little kid, and wondered what it would be like to be his mother. I carefully read each quarterly report, studiously learning about our son.

At the bottom of the pile was his very first report, with a photo stapled to the back. And there he was: my baby. Oh, my heart ached just looking at him, so tiny and sweet. And I thought, “I want that baby.” And right at that moment I knew that my baby had been there in Vietnam, waiting for us all along, and we didn’t even know it.

Christina Chronister has been a leader in the push for ethical adoptions. She is one of the founders of VVAI (Voices for Vietnam Adoption Integrity), continuing to bring important adoption issues to the forefront while raising her own busy family.

Adam's Mom

Always an eager student, I joined several online adoption groups and read as much as I could about the process. I began to vacillate almost immediately as I learned what is a harsh adoption reality – there is a huge disparity in the number of potential adoptive parents requesting girls and those requesting boys. The idea that healthy beautiful boys were languishing in orphanages began to nag at me. I thought of my brothers. I thought of my nephews. I thought of all the boys I’ve every loved and just how much they needed the same things I hadn’t gotten.

The projected waiting time of 3-6 months for a referral of a baby girl steadily grew as more and more families applied to the newly re-opened Vietnam adoption program. The waiting time for boy referrals remained 1-3 months, and my disquiet increased exponentially.

When the waiting time for girls hit the 12-18 month mark, my indecision became all-consuming. I shared my conflicted feelings with the members of my online groups and asked for input, opinions and advice. I received many emails with thoughtful opinions, personal accounts and wholehearted support. There was one special email that got into my head and heart and shifted my perspective completely and definitively – the writer stated that what I needed to decide what whether I believed in my heart I was meant to parent a girl, or if I believed in my heart that I was meant to be a parent. It was suddenly just that simple. Three days after changing my request to infant boy, I had my referral.

Kathleen Fountain is the mother of the fabulous Adam.